DO YOU HATE GAYS?

ONE OF MY STUDENTS in ethics commented that being gay is the feeling of being different from others. It was a surprise to get that kind of answer because others simply hate gays for being freaks or deviants. What should be an ethically correct attitude or response toward homosexuality?

There is a need to make an important distinction between homosexual orientation and homosexual activity. Homosexual orientation is an attraction that a person experiences towards members of the same sex. Homosexual activity is the actual physical engagement in sexual acts with members of the same sex. With this distinction in mind, let us take a close look at the four schools of thought or perspectives on homosexuality.

The first school of thought condemns both homosexual activity and orientation. The basis for the condemnation is that the bible considers homosexuality as a great offense against God and that natural law sees homosexuality as something against nature because a man is usually attracted to a woman and vice-versa. What is problematic in this first school of thought is the fact that if sexual orientation is not freely chosen then it seems unreasonable to condemn someone on that basis alone.

The second school of thought sees homosexual activity as an immoral act but sexual orientation or inclination is not itself a ground for moral condemnation. An inclination or orientation may be disordered but a person with homosexual orientation is not excluded from the Christian community. However, it is with great difficulty that a person with homosexual orientation can have the strength of will not to engage in homosexual acts. This is the Catholic position regarding homosexuality.

The third school of thought says that for those who have an irreversible or constitutional homosexuality (those who have taken homosexuality as a lifestyle) and have integrated their sexuality into their personality in a psychologically positive way, the physical expression of that sexual inclination may be acceptable. This is the controversial position of Fr. Charles Curran on irreversible homosexuality who says that “homosexual acts in the context of a loving relationship striving for permanency can be and are morally good.” This is a compromise position. Advocates of same-sex marriage are at the forefront of this school of thought. Heterosexual marriage is still normative.

The fourth school of thought argues that what matters is the quality of relationships. Thus, if homosexual relationship is supportive, nurturing, compassionate and loving then homosexual activity is right or moral regardless of the sexual orientation or the gender of two persons involved in the relationship. This perspective puts much weight on the kind or type of relationship in which sexual expression takes place and less weight is given on gender or marital status. In other words, those who advocate this perspective is actually trying to say that sex is right whether with the same sex or with the opposite sex as long as it is an expression of a loving relationship. Loving relationship within the context of marriage between a man and a woman is still the Ideal.

Re-assigning homosexuality has a very limited success. There is a need for a psychic acceptance on the part of homosexuals. The key is acceptance. One should not have an attitude of abomination towards homosexual persons instead there is a need for understanding and sympathy so that they may regain their worth as human beings and as fulfilled persons who in spite of their weakness strive to live life as a gift for others through the help of God’s grace.