THE POWER OF EMOTION

THE FIRST BATCH of Caceres priests has just concluded fruitfully a 40-day renewal retreat that has been aptly called – “the joy of the priesthood.” For the nine priests who have undergone the journey of forty days, the experience was overwhelmingly grace-filled and pivotal in their priestly life and ministry.

I have been privileged to share with them some points on managing emotions. I tried to prepare my sharing but in the process of my preparation I have also come to know myself better in the sense that I was given a precious opportunity to explore my emotions and the role they play in my daily life as a priest.

One of the insights that struck me is on how to transform emotions into light, into grace. I must admit that while I was going through the steps needed in the transformation of emotions, I was challenged to focus on the dominant emotions of my life and how to integrate them meaningfully in my relationship with others.

Emotion, in its most general definition, is an intense mental state that arises automatically in the nervous system rather than through conscious effort, and evokes either a positive or negative psychological response.

There are eight steps in the transformation of emotion into light: 1] Take full responsibility for your emotion; 2] Name your emotion; 3] Let go of the emotional “story’; 4] Bless your emotion; 5] Feel your emotion fully; 6] Ask for light and clarity as to the reason for the emotion; 7] Identify the ineffective belief at the root of the emotion; 8] Replace the ineffective belief with the more empowering belief.

The first step in managing emotion is to take full responsibility for my emotion. I find this step quite demanding because I often deny my emotions and I fail to own my emotions. In fact, when I am angry with somebody I simply ignore it but the problem is that my anger lingers and I am not able to get out of it. The next step helps me in naming my emotion. When I am angry, I should be able to say, “I am angry.” The act of naming is important because it entails acceptance of my present emotional state. Letting go of the emotional story is actually being angry without hurting others and myself. It is difficult for me to bless my anger but I know that only when I am able to ask God for the grace to overcome my anger that I see what is positive in the situation. It is impossible not to feel the emotional change brought about by anger but feeling it fully means not repressing my anger but expressing it in a way that can channel the negative emotion out of my system. If a person causes my anger, I usually talk to somebody by telling him why I am angry. Asking for light and clarity in order to know the reason for my anger can only come after some time and I experience that this can only come from prayer especially a sincere prayer for one’s enemy or for somebody who has hurt me. There is an irrational belief at the root of my anger and in my case it is my desire that people should act the way I want them to act or behave. The more empowering belief comes from the realization that I cannot change people’s way of behaving or the way they are but I can change my attitude towards them. So every time I feel that I am getting angry, I know right away that it’s either I am overpowered by anger or I take the power of emotion to make me a better person.

There is really nothing wrong with men becoming emotional. In fact, emotions have great potentials for making us more sensitive to others and more at home with ourselves.